The Delectable Discombobulation of Life

How do you pass a kid in the hall?

In my office building, there are many halls to walk down. And in my office building, most of the tenants and patrons walking around are adults. Now, when adults pass each other in the hall, they will stare at the floor or the wall until they come to that crucial point in passing when it is impossible to avoid eye contact. At this point, both adults quickly look up and give an extremely brief salutation to each other to let the other person know that they are aware they are there, and then walk on by, BOTH breathing a sigh of relief that the ordeal is over. The salutation may be a quick nod, a flicker of a smile, or a brief pressing together of the lips which means, “hey.” This courteous yet curt greeting is universally practiced and accepted by the adults of the western world and rarely does anyone veer from it.

But today, to my utter dismay, I passed a kid in the hall of my office building. And to be perfectly honest - I had no idea what to do. What do you do when you pass a kid? I’ve passed kids before but they were always accompanied by an adult so it was the adult that always received my pressed-together lips. I don’t think I’ve every passed a lone kid before. Do I look at him? Do I smile? Does he receive my polite but quick “hey”? We were quickly approaching each other and I was slightly panicking as I thought, “Is he gonna smile at me? What does he expect an adult to do? Does he expect anything?” I made the decision to smile and nod my head and right before I could give him my standard adult greeting, he pivoted right in front of me and disappeared behind a door. Stunned, but not willing to show my vulnerability, I stared at the floor and sped past that office.

I must admit that I am surprised by my reaction.  I don’t easily get caught off guard so having a child unsettle me is unsettling.  Now, I don’t know when or if this will ever happen again but I do know what I will do when I pass a kid. I’ll just say hello. Kids deserve that, don’t you think?

The Truth About Cats & Dogs

I had to take care of 3 dogs this weekend when I house-sat for my boss and while doing so, I’ve had a revelation:

Dogs are a pain in the ass.

You have to feed them twice a day, bathe them (cause buggas can’t do it on their own and are always getting dirty… and you have to admit, they stink), walk them, let them out so they can “mess,” and they are constantly craving attention. Being a cat-person, I find dogs to be terribly inconvenient. At first it’s sweet that a dog gets so excited to see you when you first arrive, but then they don’t stop jumping around waiting to be petted. Then I realized this about dog-people: they are willing to put up with a lot of crap to be in a relationship. They are willing to cater, fuss, and do quite a bit of labor to have a dog. And if they don’t mind doing this for a dog, it makes sense that they’d put up with quite a bit to be with a “special someone.”  In people relationships, if you’re high-maintenance, you want a dog-person. They’d be more willing to put up with your shit than a cat-person would be.

Now cats are an entirely different species. Cats are extremely low-maintenance. You feed them only once a day, rarely have to bathe them, never have to take them out to go “mess” (unless you have a really retarded cat), and they usually want to be left alone. I have cats (if you couldn’t tell), and when they want to be petted, they’ll come rubbing up against my leg to let me know that they want some lovin’, so I’ll lie on the floor with them and scratch their ears and stroke their heads until they get sick and tired of me and swishing their tail in disgust, abruptly walk away. My conclusion regarding cat-people is this: they are not as willing to put up with a lot of crap to be in a relationship. They value independence and like it when their attention is not required all the time. So, for that “special someone,” they’re willing to do their part in the relationship, but they’ll refuse to put up with high-maintenance demands.  If you’re high-maintenance, I suggest that you not be with a cat-person because they won’t care about your stupid petty issues.

(Note: I am inserting many “probably”s, “might”s and “most likely”s because this is only my observation, not hard fact)

Now, I have not concluded whether or not a dog-person or cat-person is the dog or cat in the relationship. A dog-person who is willing to put up with a lot may be the independent, low-maintenance one in the relationship while the cat-person may be high-maintenance.

For me, I think I would be the cat person in both roles of the relationship. I am not willing to put up with a lot of crap (willing to put up with some) and I don’t give a lot of crap. So, I guess I’m a cat-cat. Now, I either need another cat-cat or a dog-cat. But I don’t want a cat-dog or a dog-dog.

Haha! Does this make any sense?

Is it so damn hard?

Okay, I can understand abbreviating words in a text message.  3 letters share a button and it is so much easier to omit letters than to spell the whole word out (I actually find it harder to shorten words since you have to change settings and/or consciously substitute other letters/numbers for the original letter… anywho).  But, for the life of me, I can’t understand why people use those stupid texting abbreviations when they’re writing out emails or on blogs… seriously?  How hard is it to spell the word out?  How hard is it to capitalize?  How hard is it to punctuate correctly?  I can’t stand emails from people who have obviously put no effort or consideration into the message they just sent me.  Perhaps they write like that because they really don’t know how to spell or punctuate.  In that case, at least capitalize the proper letters!  Goodness, make an attempt to look smart.  I don’t know about anyone else, but when I receive emails where the grammar and punctuation is all wrong, I automatically think that person is intellectually inferior to me.  Sorry.  Next time, spell out the damn words.

Short Shorts

Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs By Writers Famous and Obscure (taken from WomensHealthMag.com)

—————————————————————–

 In a Manolo world, I’m Keds. –Colleen Cook

Thought long and hard. Got migraine. –Lisa Levy

I’m my mother and I’m fine. –K. Bertrand

Just in: Boyfriend’s gay. Merry Christmas. –Seshie Hargett

Tequila made her clothes fall off. –Susanne Broderick

Lived in moment until moment sucked. –Janine Goss

Country girl seeks, finds, ABANDONS city. –Jenny Rose Ryan

Asked to quiet down; spoke louder. –Wendy Lee

Happiest when ignoring huge financial debt. –Ayanna Bryan

Clumsy girl found adventure. Also, bruises. –Rebecca Campbell

A sundress will solve life’s woes. –Kristen Grimm

Town car, tailored suit, dirty nails. –Nicole Blades

Lucky in love. Unlucky in metabolism. –Leah Weathersby

————- And my absolute favorite ———————-

No shit I’m critical–you’re flawed. –Elizabeth Koch

Watching You, Watching Me

I think it’s amazing that I can watch someone from my office window and they have no idea that someone is observing them as they walk past, or climb into their car, or have a conversation with another.  I’m intently studying their expressions and actions and they are completely oblivious about it.  And that makes me think - I wonder how many times I’ve been watched by someone who is hidden behind window blinds or so high atop somewhere that I cannot see them.  I wonder what they have seen?  Have they seen me do some ghastly thing, like picking my nose?  Maybe they watched my reaction to a frusterating phone call and seen me toss the phone into the back of the car or into my purse when I was done.  Perhaps they’ve seen me when I was in an awkward situation… I wonder if they could tell I was feeling awkward.  I wonder if they’ve wondered what I was thinking as I often wonder what the person I’m watching is thinking. 

Someone is always watching.  It seems inevitable.

No Pressure

 Okay, so I’ve never been in a relationship before.  And right now, I have the same mindset going into crushes as I do going into job interviews.

“Let’s cut through all the crap and just hire (or like) me.  Seriously, you won’t regret it.”

But, then again, I’ve always had a hard time sticking to a job with the exception of my first one and the current one I have now.  In between, I have worked at 6 jobs, including restaurants, bookstores, and dentists’ offices.  I have found that if I don’t get along with my immediate boss, I end up hating my job.  So, while I go into a job with confidence that I will love it and do well at it (I have never not done well at a job), depending on how the chemistry works between my boss & I will determine how long I will stay at that particular job.  Note: I have always gotten along with my coworkers, though. 

So, in a relationship, my mindset going in is the same, “We’ll get along, don’t worry about it.”  However, if I’m going to draw this parallel between “love” and work, I must expect that the outcome may be the same.  Depending on how compatible we are will determine if this will work.  As in jobs, I have gone through multiple ones to find one that I really like, it’s quite possible that the same will apply here.  There is one difference, though - I worked at jobs with the intent of moving on (my first was at Baskin Robbins and there was no way in hell I was staying there for very long even though I loved it), but in a relationship, I have no interest in being with someone while planning to leave eventually.  It may happen that the relationship doesn’t work but I won’t look for an “out” for the heck of it. 

I dunno… we’ll see how this goes. 

My Rant Against Rants

Disclaimer:  I am not always successful in keeping my mouth closed, either. 

“I just tell ‘em.”   

I’ve heard this phrase repeatedly from those (mostly women) who have taken it upon themselves to let others know what they think of them – usually negatively.  And the phrase:  

“I don’t care what they think”  

usually follows directly after.  Let me say something: you should care.  Whenever someone tells me they’ve told another off, I always think, “Why are you so proud of yourself?  I guarantee you that your input was not welcome or effective.”  This is what your words accomplished: nothing.     

In most cases, when you tell another person “off,” yet don’t care what the person thinks of you, it is likely that you both are not close with each other.  And on the receiver’s part, they won’t heed the advice because it is by given someone who they think doesn’t know them well enough to be telling them what to do.  Also, to tell someone “off” is to assume a role of superiority which will leave the other person feeling inferior, resentful towards you, and with an unpleasant memory so that every time you meet, all the receiver will remember is how you made them feel.   

Perhaps the receiver deserved to be told off, but there’s a good chance that you are not the person to do it.  Giving unwelcome advice makes only one person feel better: you.  And if you are unsure whether your advice is welcome or not, here’s a way to find out: if they asked for it, it is welcome; if they didn’t, it is not.  Usually people don’t ask so it’s safe to assume that they don’t want your input, therefore, you should keep your trap closed.   

Believe me, you will be liked (almost) universally because of it.  I am not saying that you should not have an opinion, but it may not be the best thing to inform someone of it if they don’t want it.  And if you need to correct someone (perhaps they accidentally cut you off in line while at the supermarket), there is no need to be sassy about it.  It is possible to tactfully let them know the facts of the case but only the facts of the case, leave out your opinion about the facts of the case.   

Anyhow, these things were on my mind today so I thought I’d post them.  And if any claim that I’m giving my unasked-for opinion, I would like to say that one can write what one wants in one’s own blog. 

Have a great day, chickadees!  

I don’t make very good company…

I attended a wedding reception this weekend with my mom - a reception that I really didn’t want to be at (I didn’t go to the actual wedding). But I went to oblige my mother who asked me to go with her. I’m sure she regretted doing that because two hours into it, I started making impatient sighing noises and obvious sideglances at her to let her know that I wasn’t entirely happy with this arrangement. She did a good job of ignoring me but couldn’t help but notice when three hours into the program, I began to stare at her with wide eyes to let her know I was ready to leave. She could feel my impatience and the tension building up inside of me as I restlessly shifted in the seat next to her. After four hours, I abruptly (and kind of loudly) informed her that I was going to leave and she can call me when she was done. She sighed, handed me the car keys and I left.

Now, in my defense, it was excruciating for me to even be there and four hours of sitting through the program almost killed me BUT! I should have been so much more supportive of my mother who requested that I accompany her to this event. I am rather ashamed of myself for my bad attitude and wish that I could’ve been mature enough to quietly and patiently sit next to my mom and let her enjoy the evening without having to cope with this ticking time-bomb by her side.

I haven’t apologized to her yet and I can’t right now because she has fallen asleep, but I will do so first thing in the morning. And next time, I’ll make much better company.

Family

I have been spending considerably more time with my family than I have in years and I must tell you, I am loving it.  My oldest sister , Onaona, and her fiancee are staying with us until August at which time my sister will go back to school to achieve her Master’s; my sister, Anuhea, recently gave birth to her first child, Keolapono, and we visit them often; and my brother’s wife, Malu, is pregnant and due anytime now so they come around frequently; and I am making more of an effort to spend time with my youngest sister, Mikiala (age 9).  Also, my grandmother is needing more assistance in her old age and enjoys her family’s company whenever they can give it. 

 I’ve always enjoyed spending time at home but I look forward to coming home ever night now for several reasons:

1.  I love finding a scrumptious dinner waiting at home, especially after a day of work and an exhausting evening of paddling practice.  Thank you, Dave & Onaona! 

2.  I love that there are people at home when I get there.  I rarely come home to an empty house anymore. 

3.  Many times, we will go to Anuhea’s house to visit my new nephew and I absolutely love going to their house. 

4.  Mikiala has been coming over to our house more often and her exuberant presence always cheers up my night and gives me something to look forward to during the day. 

I’ve also tried to do more for my grandmother as she recently fell sick and is unable to execute many of her daily duties.  I ate lunch with her the other day and did some housework for her this afternoon.  She was always a very meticulous woman and the fact that she can’t even clean up her own home depresses her, so I figured some help around the house would cheer her up. 

I find it very satisfying in taking care of and spending time with my family.  I guess it’s the feeling of responsibility and ownership that I love.  This is my family and I am doing what I can (though I do get lazy at times) to pull my weight.  With my siblings all around town, I feel like I have little havens that I can escape to and it is a great comfort - I feel like I can do anything in the world with them near. 

“It’s hard, I think, to find people in the world you love as much as your family.” - from Margot at the Wedding

Running Songs

I went jogging this morning and took along with me my lovely iTouch. Earlier, I had made a “Fitness, Baby!” playlist and filled it with songs that I thought would help me keep up my energy. To my surprise, some songs that I was so sure would keep me pumped actually dragged me down while others that were supposed to be only okay for jogging gave me an extra push.

List of songs that dragged me down:

• Yeah by Usher
• Low by T-Pain (?)
• Lovestoned by Justin Timberlake

I really thought these songs would keep me pumped up as they are such dance-y songs but I felt like they were weighing me down instead. The next list is of songs that made me feel like I could fly:

• Mr. A-Z by Jason Mraz
• More Time by Needtobreathe
• Everything by Cascada
• Rehab by Amy Winehouse

I think I will fine-tune my”Fitness, Baby!” playlist.